{Updated} Raising Resilient Children.

15 Jul

Mother's Day Montesori School (6)diversity & resilience

Here’s a brief update on this blogpost – a book that just came out, from the author Linda Janssen, and from which I’ve learned a lot during this journey of ‘raising expat children’:

The Emotionally Resilient Expat – Engage, Adapt and Thrive Across Cultures 


I feel like I began this year on a very ‘introspective mode‘, rethinking life, our lifestyle, and the way we plan on leading it forward…

This is a third post on my ‘random thoughts‘ about bringing our children out [first one discussed multilingualism and its approach as parents; and the second one dealt with ‘how to approach’ diversity issues], especially when it comes to the heterogeneous society they [children] are about to face…. any moment from now… [find all interesting links to great discussions at the bottom of this post!]

For a child, especially the young ones, parents are their strongest link to the concepts of ‘reality‘ and ‘normalcy‘.
That said, I recently found from Expat Child, a fantastic site for inspirations for any parent out there, even if they’re not ‘serial expats’ like our family:
[and my deepest appreciation to the site authors for bringing out such an interesting discussion!]

Five Quotes On Resilience

Picture of the Galapagos Marine Iguana with a Darwin quote on survival of the species

It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. – Charles Darwin

Resilient children tend to have parents who are concerned with their children’s education, who participate in that education, who direct their children everyday task, and who are aware of their children interests and goals. Another important characteristic of resilient children is having at least one significant adult in their lives. – Linda F. Winfield

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. – Mark Twain

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children: one is roots, the other is wings. – Hodding Carter

Self-esteem is the real magic wand that can form a child’s future. A child’s self-esteem affects every area of her existence, from friends she chooses, to how well she does academically in school, to what kind of job she gets, to even the person she chooses to marry. – Stephanie Martson

I don’t have answers for these questions, and maybe, secretly, would hope to find a few over here… from other expat/parents out there... I’m aware that we [parents] are all seeking answers, suggestions, so, I’ll echo my voice with many more… who knows? Comments/messages are very much appreciated, and more than welcome! “How are we [parents] working on raising more [socially] resilient children?”
Thank you!

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16 responses to “{Updated} Raising Resilient Children.

  1. kimsimard

    February 11, 2013 at 6:41 pm

    I grew up as an “Army Brat” moving from province to province and overseas. I continued the journey into adulthood moving from continent to continent. What you are giving your children is a culturally varied, eye-opening education; an education they would never have received in a school! Congratulations for having the courage to do this!!


    • 3rdCultureChildren

      February 11, 2013 at 11:17 pm

      Thank you very much for your kind words of support – it’s the reason we keep on going! 😮
      Thank you for taking the time to stop by and check the blogpost out!


  2. Chris

    February 7, 2013 at 5:51 pm

    Thanks for a great post. During the anxiety and preparations of becoming expats with our three children, my best friend gave me a card with the quote you have used: “There are two lasting bequests we can give our children: one is roots, the other is wings.” and it was so validating. And now we are here (Ghana) we have agonised about schooling, cultural differences, and perhaps the great unspoken when moving to a developing world country, that (almost) everything can seem second best to the stable, easy life left behind. I think that has been a real challenge for the children, to make them appreciate all the differences in the world: sometimes good, sometimes bad, and sometimes just different. While seeing such a different side of life has been such a powerful experience for us, what we have also gained is a very tight, co-dependant family, and I hope that is something that will always be a great gift for all of us.


    • 3rdCultureChildren

      February 7, 2013 at 5:59 pm

      I’m so glad you’re able to relate to the post! It’s so hard for family like ours to share our feelings, and have others understand what they really mean! Thank you very much for your kind words… Only another [expat] parent can comprehend the challenges we go thru: the schooling, finding new friends, the adjustments… the languages… the new traditions… the social demands…

      Thank you for taking the time to stop by and share your experiences! 😮


  3. curlyadventurer

    February 6, 2013 at 7:11 pm

    There are two lasting bequests we can give our children: one is roots, the other is wings. – Hodding Carter

    This is one of the most powerful and true statements that I have found. As a person in the middle phases of becoming grown up, those two gifts are vital. To be able to explore new worlds, but to also have a sense of home. It is a difficult duality to cultivate at times.


    • 3rdCultureChildren

      February 6, 2013 at 7:57 pm

      Thank you! I really liked that you took the time to comment on the quote! 😮


  4. Emma@Coolpads

    February 6, 2013 at 4:49 pm

    Reblogged this on Cool-Pads and commented:
    Traveling doesn’t necessarily mean short breaks or even longer holidays. Traveling can be a complete lifestyle change involving the whole family. Here’s an insight into what it’s like to raise Ex Pat Children. Being an Oil Riggers’ wife – there is always an element of international travel, if not for me – then for him. Luckily we don’t have children (teenagers are hardest to relocate so I hear) which makes things easier. This Blog, 3rd Culture Children, gives some really good inspiration and resources – so I thought I couldn’t pass it by without sharing it. Thank you 3rd Culture Children :o)


    • 3rdCultureChildren

      February 6, 2013 at 6:28 pm

      Emma, first, let me thank you for your interest in reading and re-blogging this post – much appreciated.
      Also, I’m so glad that this discussion if finding echo among other travelers!


      • Emma@Coolpads

        February 7, 2013 at 3:14 am

        You’re so welcome and Thank you for putting it out there first. I think it’s an issue for quite a few families – I spoke of Energy Workers but there’s Military families as well – and more no doubt. I’ll keep on popping by and checking you out – Your Blog is really cool.
        Hope you have a great day xx


        • 3rdCultureChildren

          February 7, 2013 at 9:14 am

          Good to know! There are so many of us [parents] out there! Glad you enjoyed it enough to come back!


  5. colonialist

    February 5, 2013 at 5:12 pm

    Interesting and surprising conclusion – although logical when one comes to think of it – that resilience is above strength or intelligence in the ‘fittest’ criteria. How to provide optimum resilience is the key question.


    • 3rdCultureChildren

      February 5, 2013 at 6:20 pm

      Totally agree. I guess parents have to keep trying… our best. We need to build our own resilience, first. 😮



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