“Pay no attention to the woman behind the children…”

27 Aug


Behind the children

‘Who’s that woman?’

‘Which woman?’

‘That one, discreetly hiding behind her children…

Doesn’t she have a life of her own?’

‘Shhhh… Pay no attention to the woman behind the children…

She may hear you. She may get upset’.

‘She seems so afraid for her little ones… She looks so fragile… like if at any moment, she will break down into tears.. or break apart into small glass pieces… I would like to see her smiling…’

‘Why is she hiding from us? Have we done anything to her?’

‘Who’s that woman behind the growing children?

The one trying her best not to fail, trying her hardest to be up to any and all tasks, excelling on her parenting skills, in the hope that other parents would look up to her as a role model?’

 ‘Who’s the woman who lets herself be kept backstage, silently watching life play its theatrical acts, desperately witnessing her heart beat outside her body, every time one of her children crosses the house door and heads out  to the world?’

‘Pay no attention to the woman behind the curtains of life…’

‘She’s no Wizard‘.

‘She’s no Witch‘.

‘She’s not longing to find her way back home…’

‘Pay no attention to her – she looks tired and helpless…’

Behind the Curtain

Photo by Sara Biljana

‘And, why?

Why does she look directionless?

She’s expected to offer guidance and act as a safe haven for her family’.

‘What has happened to the woman?’

‘Why people insist in not paying attention to her?’

‘And why is she always giving orders?

Acting like she’s commanding an army; but who I see with her are only three little children…

Can’t she realize they’re just little kids?

They don’t know much about life… they need to lean on her for comfort; they rely on her for guidance; they seek her unconditional love and her unquestioned companionship…’

‘She does look tired.’ I’d say…

‘She looks frustrated, and sometimes,

she even looks sad…’

‘Has the outside world drained her energy out?

Has the world taken up on her will to move forward; her desire to keep on changing things around her, building a so-called ‘safe environment’, shielding her children from the dangers and challenges of real life?’

‘She’s heard elsewhere about “helicopter parenting”, and that it may prevent kids from reaching normal developmental milestones…

– is she one of ‘those parents‘?’

‘I sure hope not’.

‘As her children grow older, appropriate milestones for each age can become less clear… how can she – ‘the woman behind it all’ – recognize when her children may not be hitting those milestones?

When it comes to parenting, is it really true that sometimes less is more?’

‘How can the woman recognize when parenting needs to be less?’

‘She’s trying, still’.

‘I wish we could help her; show her the way, ease her pain…’

‘She’s kept herself updated on the latest researches and discussions on stable parenting; emotional intelligence features, modern teaching, interactive learning… and yet, it all seems not to be enough…’

‘But… When is it all enough?’

‘When does parenting begin, and when – if even – it begins to fail?’

‘When would the woman know she’s on the right track comes to raising her children to become worldly and compassionate citizens, with a taste for adventure, and a foot planted into the ground, with a broad heart and an open mind for changes?’

‘Who’s the woman behind all those questions?

Who’s that one endlessly seeking answers for her own doubts?

She hides her pain, and she offers her smile in exchange’. 

‘She seems concerned; and yet, keeps her eyes and her mind open’.

‘She may not be directionless – she’s got all paths in front of her.

She feels she needs to be holding hands while she patiently walks through these paths’.

‘Whose hands are those?’

‘They’re her children’s hands.

The little hands she was the first one to touch, to feel, and to kiss. The little hands, arms, and bodies, she brought into this life – and feels responsible for…’

‘Who’s the woman behind the children?’ I still ask.

‘A hybrid of wizard, caretaker, and commander-in-chief…’

‘Somebody filled with life and tears, whose main task is simply to love – at her hardest, the most complete way, without fearing any failure…’

Maybe, we should all stop for a moment, and pay attention to the woman behind the children

She’s a mother.

Curious for more?

  1. Sunset’s Song | Orpheus
  2. He grew tired of waiting | Neva Samaki
  3. He had grown tired of waiting | Neva Samaki
  4. The Story of a Story: Part 3 in a Trilogy | Amy Warren
  5. Limerick Alone Redux | clarior e tenebris
  6. Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes | Strange, Fantastic, Ugly, and Bizarre
  7. Delicate Revenge | shame
  8. Fresh Start Envy | Reinvention of Mama

Posted by on August 27, 2013 in children, FAMILY, LOVE


Tags: , , , , , , ,

16 responses to ““Pay no attention to the woman behind the children…”

  1. Winding road

    August 27, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    So exquisitely beautiful. Not only your words, but in part because my favorite movie is and has always been the wizard of oz. thank you for the ping back. Xo


    • 3rdCultureChildren

      August 27, 2013 at 11:54 pm

      It’s my favorite movie, as well. Nothing compares to that: the message, the idea of friendship… the importance of home… 😮
      You’re more than welcome – glad to share your post here!


  2. colonialist

    August 27, 2013 at 7:12 pm

    She’s a mother the way they should be. Unfortunately some get the job but don’t put any time into it! They have ‘more important’ things to do like having a good time.


    • 3rdCultureChildren

      August 27, 2013 at 7:17 pm

      I so agree!

      It’s a job. An endless [yet sweet] task. It takes a lot of sleepless hours, commitment, care, love and the will to continue.
      I do believe it’s not a job for everyone. It’s not easy. It’s challenging and at time, the ‘reward’ may not be what one was expecting… But I’d still do it. All over. Again, and again… 😮 Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Colonialist. It’s great to know others are appreciating the work [in more ways than one!] a mother puts into raising her children!


  3. justiceforkevinandjenveybaylis

    August 27, 2013 at 4:17 pm

    Reblogged this on justiceforkevinandjenveybaylis.


  4. znjavid

    August 27, 2013 at 2:06 pm



  5. babyjill7...Marilyn Griffin

    August 27, 2013 at 12:27 pm

    Reblogged this on MKG- Memories-Keepsakes-Gifts and commented:
    So many women in the background…making it all happen…such a descriptive of loving Mothers… a must read!


  6. babyjill7...Marilyn Griffin

    August 27, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    what’s more to say?…I think you have said it all in a most descriptive way…awesome post…reblogging…it must be read!


    • 3rdCultureChildren

      August 27, 2013 at 12:31 pm

      I’m really glad you liked it, and could, somehow, relate to it. That’s the goal – to get other people relating to the thoughts shared over here.
      Thank you very much for sharing/reblogging it. Much appreciated. Take care, Raquel.



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