I’m back. Back on blogging, back from a restful family R&R and just found this great piece. Loved her final comment, and felt so related to it, that decided to share it over here, with my dear readers/expats/travelers/nomad parents in the Foreign Service! And how cool is that we [the author and myself] share the same name – granted: my version is in Portuguese, a proud devotion to my roots – thanks, mom! ♥
Family life is important. More important than your/our [original] career decisions… once one’s got a family, decisions and changes in life need to take that into consideration! 😮 I remember myself being so afraid/concern to tell my [then] Post-Doctorate advisor on my [first] pregnancy, back in 2005, and fearing for his reactions… today, several years later, 3 kids and changing jobs at every post we’ve been assigned to live/work, there are no regrets. My career did change, and I believe, for better. I’ve become more adaptable, more adjustable, and with the always-needed flexibility, I’m more patient with myself, with my husband, and more understanding about his career. I believe we [as a family] have evolved, which is great. 😮 After that, life has taken us to many different places, and for sure, my career has changed. Quite a bit, I’d say. And I’m happy with that. I’m satisfied with the decisions we’ve made for our growing children, under the circumstances of being a ‘nomad couple’ with the Foreign Service.
Definitely, it’s worth a read – my favorite part, the original author’s [another mother/career/academic woman!] wrap-up comment: “I am not sure if I have been “parent tracked” but I do know that my family is important to me, and decisions about my or my husband’s professional lives will always take the well-being of our family and our marriage into account. We would not choose to have jobs that forced us apart, we want to remain close to our extended family if we can, and we want our children to have both of us present in their everyday lives. If that means that I make deliberate professional choices and pursue non-tenure-track or alternative-academic opportunities, I feel comfortable with that arrangement”…
My husband bought me Mama, PhD as a graduation gift. He thought I would appreciate the stories about “motherhood and academic life.” In under a week, I tore through the anthology. Divided into four sections, the editors captured women’s stories about “The Conversation” whether to start a family, “That Mommy Thing” that competes with more scholarly pursuits, how “Recovering Academic[s]” fare after becoming parents, and the “Momifesto” that women create for themselves to guide their own professional and personal lives.
I felt comforted to read memoirs of women’s lives as they described their worry in revealing their pregnancy to their advisory committee, the schlepping and physical challenges of being pregnant on a big college campus, the swell of support or the lack thereof from different significant others in their lives, and the realization that life would never be the same after becoming a mother. Each vignette was short, and I…
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