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A bit of healthy humor, post-Christmas…

26 Dec

Why not a bit of humor, right after Christmas Day? The ‘post-holiday blues’ kicked in, now, it’s all about cleaning the house, washing whatever leftover dishes are pilling up on my sink… make sure the kids don’t kill each other over their new toys… 😮 That said, during one of my blog-hopping ventures, found this funny piece on Santa Claus, discussing the pros and cons of ‘it’ being a man or a woman! As a mother, the one in charge of pretty much everything related to Christmas for our family, ranging from grocery shopping, gift-wrapping, meal-planning, cooking, and the aftermath cleaning – I’m a little bias… maybe, the original author [Wyrd Smithe, from Logs con Carne] has a good point with the ‘pros’ on Santa being a woman… who knows? If you’ve got more to add to this intriguing discussion, hop over to his site, and share it! I’m sure it’d be appreciated!  Below is an excerpt from the original text, where I [freely] highlighted my FAVORITE parts, for both genders, so, I may not be ‘accused’ of being… errrr… a bit…bias! Enjoy!

“Santa is a man!

Santa making toys…It is precisely because Christmas is an“organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal”that Santa has to be a man. Delegation… that’s the key. Just imagine if a woman was trying to delegate all of those tasks and obligations to her underlings. Christmas would be as ambiguous as the spring equinox. Nobody would know what day of the year we were going to celebrate it on.

It takes a man to organize a commercial event as huge as Christmas… We’d have to plan football schedules around lunch instead of the other way around. Or worse yet… there might not be any football at all.  [shudder] That’s a scary thought.

Santa has a secret!If Santa was a female, the toys might never be delivered. It would take a she Santa until New Year’s Eve to get dressed (for the third time) and out of the bathroom. And just try harnessing those reindeer with freshly painted nails. Never happen. Once she got underway, she’d be too busy talking on the cell phone to her girl friends to get all the way around the world to every girl and boy’s house in a single year, let alone a single night.


Santa is a Woman!

Ms Santa 1

For starters, the vast majority of men don’t even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I’m convinced Santa is a woman…

Ms Santa 2…Even if the male Santa did have reindeer, he’d still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.

Other reasons why Santa can’t possibly be a man:

  • Men can’t pack a bag.
  • Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red
  • Men would feel their masculinity is threatened having to be seen with all those elves.
  • Men don’t answer their mail.
  • Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a “bowlful of jelly.”
  • Men aren’t interested in stockings unless somebody’s wearing them.
  • Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.
  • Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

Thank you for letting me share this piece… funny, and a great way to jump back into reality… nothing wrong with a bit of healthy humor, post-Christmas, right?! 😮

Logos con carne

Santas bothHaving previously established that Santa has to be magical (because the laws of physics prohibit a real Santa accomplishing successful toy delivery), we can turn to the question of Santa’s gender. One might question this on the grounds of Santa’s apparent historic maleness, but in counter I offer George Sand, Mulan and any number of Shakespeare plays.

One might also question this on the grounds of gender perhaps not applying to magical creatures, to which I reply that Hobbits, Elves and Dwarves seem pretty clear on the matter (although one can never really tell with Dwarves—all that hair and battle armor are quite concealing, and it’s poor form to actually ask).

In any event, like all “news” programs these days, I give you now, two opposing views on the matter of Santa’s gender. You decide.

View original post 787 more words

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9 Comments

Posted by on December 26, 2012 in FAMILY, humor

 

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9 responses to “A bit of healthy humor, post-Christmas…

  1. aFrankAngle

    December 26, 2012 at 7:59 pm

    This is a great reblog … I’m happy for Wyrd Smithe and glad I commented on it and linked to did before his FP honors. Meanwhile, thanks for stopping by my little corner of the world.

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    • 3rdCultureChildren

      December 26, 2012 at 8:29 pm

      My pleasure getting to know your blog… You know how it goes, the days after Christmas, especially if one’s got little ones.. the whole anticipation/excitement are taken aback by some sort of ‘post-holiday blues’… that’s when I venture out, looking for new & interesting readings… found your blog… found Smythe’s… always good to share nice/funny articles… FP for sure is a great way to get a blog known… talked about…. get the discussion/conversation going… and isn’t it interesting that now, 3 people that had nothing in common, are now, ‘bound by the freshly pressed connections’? 😮 That’s the new age, my friend… The good use of technology… the positive one… Have a great holiday season, and a wonderful beginning of 2013! Kindly, from my little corner of the world, as you quoted, to yours! 😮

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      • aFrankAngle

        December 26, 2012 at 9:08 pm

        Well said. … thus one of the reasons I interact with my readers.

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        • 3rdCultureChildren

          December 26, 2012 at 9:16 pm

          Totally agree… a lot of people come to our sites looking for exactly that: human interaction… Unfortunately, this new age of ours tends to move people away from interacting between themselves, which in a way, is kinda sad… we have so many tech tools, and we are interacting less, and less… should be the opposite… but that’s just my humble opinion…. how good it is to have, let’s say, hundreds [or even thousands] of ‘friends’ at a given social network, and yet lack of real and positive/constructive interaction/feedback? I like to see blogs as forums, not as ecstatic places where ones posts plain flat impressions/images… the idea of a blogpost is to generate feedback, of any form, positive, negative, discussions, info exchange, you name it! 😮

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          • aFrankAngle

            December 26, 2012 at 9:25 pm

            I’m with you about blog posts as I see them more than just posting an image or as a Facebook update. In general, I see my posts more on the lines of what you are saying.

            Interestingly, blogs have served as forums for those who don’t get our for one reason or another. That’s not me, but I know of some that seemingly are that way.

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  2. colonialist

    December 26, 2012 at 5:25 pm

    Haha! Good arguments, but (a) Santa has a beard; (b) Santa isn’t a dwarf. QED.

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    • 3rdCultureChildren

      December 26, 2012 at 5:43 pm

      Hey… not all men have beard and… not all women don’t have it… 😮 Thanks for commenting! Happy Holidays!

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